Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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