Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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