Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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