these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Can Purell be used as lube?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
