I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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