DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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