They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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