somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I want to be your penis for a week.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
