Well apparently he's into motor boating.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
