i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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