i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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