So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
