What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
