Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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