They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize