We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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