its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
