so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize