Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
