Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
