i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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