I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize