Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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