i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
