then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Houston, we have a blender
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
