My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
