if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
