i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
