even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
