I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
