Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
this just has baby written all over it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So vagazzling was a success
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
