guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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