oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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