I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
