I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
