How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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