I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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