3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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