The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
