have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
only you would photoshop your dick
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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