my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
