i just made my gag reflex go away.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
