Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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