that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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