Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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