he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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