just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
