He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
