Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
