Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
