from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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