Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
