This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
