I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize