you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
