I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
