i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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