doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
