we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
