Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
