i don't plan on having that self control this summer
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
