Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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