I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
