No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Randomize
