Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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