Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
