So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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