that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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