I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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