we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
